We shiver awake in late autumn
As the sun sleeps
we make breakfast and tea
Until the sky brightens
with solar glow
to light our way.
more dark than light
in this somnolent time
my lamp flickers
:
:
Note: I have combined a cherita with a haiku to create a “cherita haibun” for Carpe Diem #1544 which features “autumn lamplight” a kigo (season word) for Japanese haiku.
©️2018 Ontheland
The scenery, the language, the articulation chosen for this piece of poetry is on point. Hope to see more from you. Keep up the good work. 😊😊😊
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Thank you, I’m happy you enjoyed it.
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my pleasure.
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I really like this, Janice.
I like how you combined the forms. It fits the season, but it could also mean much more.
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Thank you Merril. I was hoping ‘more’ was detectable.
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It was to me. 🙂
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Excellent poem! 🥀😎
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Thank you, Dorna.
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amazing – how adept you are with the form and your absolute mastery of the message tone.
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Thank you very much, Lindy.
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I like this form too, Janice. The combination is very effective.
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Happy you like it 🙂
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I do! Very much. I’ve been trying it out and I like the results.
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I like it because it combines a ‘narrative’ or ‘story’ with an in the moment haiku.
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Yes, the two processes complement one another.
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Beautiful poem filled with vivid imagery. Love it! 😀
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Thank you, Vashti 🙂
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You’re welcome. Have a great weekend! 😀
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I like your ‘invention’ of the cherita haibun. Wonderful idea Janice.
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Thank you…I wouldn’t be surprised if someone had done it before me…but who knows maybe I was the first 🙂
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