Revise that haiku

In response to Carpe Diem Weekend Meditation #26 Revise that Haiku

Taneda Santoka, known for ‘free verse haiku’, was part of an early-twentieth century trend in Japan that explored free-form haiku composed without traditions such as the 5-7-5 syllabic rule and the seasonal word. In his later years Santoka became a Zen Priest wandering many miles, often begging to survive. Santoka may have written this haiku on one his walking trips:

nonchalantly pissing

off the side of the road

soaking the young weeds

© Taneda Santoka (1882-1940)

I imagined a wandering nun. Her alternative haiku might be:

crouching

in bushes by the road

watering the crabgrass

©️2018 Ontheland

Photographed during Hiroshima commemoration of the bombing, august 6th 2014 by Vanvelthem CédricPhotographed during Hiroshima commemoration of the bombing, August 6th 2014 by Vanvelthem Cédric

the summer moon

there are a lot of paper lanterns

on the street

© Masaoka Shiki (1867-1902)

Imagining the Hiroshima commemorative lantern event years after Shiki’s time, I have written a new version of his haiku:

path of lantern lights

memories of lost souls

under August moon

©️2018 Ontheland

Echoes

When I am challenged to revise a haiku, my reading slows and I perceive several possible meanings….

in the moonlight,

the color and scent of the wisteria

seems far away

© Yosa Buson (1716-1784)

~

this pale winter night

fragrant colours of spring

seem so far away

©️2018 Ontheland

~

a mountain village

under the piled-up snow

the sound of water

© Masaoka Shiki (1867-1902)

~

a mountain village

under a fresh fall of snow

children’s laughter echoes

©️2018 Ontheland

Carpe Diem Weekend Meditation #24 Revise that Haiku