rain at last

soft drizzle at last

nothing calls for an answer

until the ground is cooled

~

©️2018 Ontheland

Carpe Diem Summer Retreat 2018 Finding the Way, July 15 to August 14

13 thoughts on “rain at last

      1. I just wanted to take a moment before everything got lost in the shuffle and say thanks for stopping in and commenting on my series. I appreciate it – knowing how bothersome it can be to play cross-platform reading and commenting.
        I responded to your comment and question, but just in case you don’t make it back to my blog I’ll share my answer here.

        “thanks Janice – for taking some time to stop in and comment 😊”

        I generally have trouble with Japanese forms, as we have come to “know” them in the translation to English, and how “technically” we’re supposed to proceed – i.e. syllable counts etc. in order to try to emulate what is more of a sound-based poetry, in its own language. Of course, there are parameters to the different forms, i.e. Haiku – using seasonal and cutting words etc. which I respect. But what I find hard to process is how so much of what is written in English sounds so “clipped” and stunted – and very abrupt – almost ugly. It’s like the constrictions become too limiting.
        And then, there is the “American Haiku” – which, mostly I find, well, worse. A micro form of poetry should still be more than a few words, too often carelessly chosen, and slapped with tag or label presented as being something that it clearly isn’t. So these are MY issues with this.
        And so, as I was compiling notes on different types of Japanese poetry, i.e. dodoitsu, senryu to act as guides, I came across this “new” form that is gaining ground, both in Japan and here – and found that maybe it might offer me a bit more room to maneuver (I have less trouble writing tanka, in its “stricter” form than straightforward haiku) since it so closely resembles tanka. So the long and short? I find it a little more elegant and slightly more vibrant – because the gogyohka is usually presented in an active voice, which gives it a certain present in the moment feeling, at least to me.

        I hope this kind of explains the “why” – the only other thing I can say, is that by writing gogyohka, it’s actually helping me “loosen up” when I consider writing haiku – I can now more easily write to the form, and then, if I want to “tighten it” and try to emulate a more “traditional” haiku, I find it less difficult – so this is interesting as an exercise and challenge; an opportunity to learn something new.

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      2. Thank you Pat for your generous response. It has inspired me to start looking into it…a contemporary development in Japan which is of course is being explored in other languages as well. I experience form as both a comfortable vessel and as a limitation that can stifle creativity…a subtle play. (and thanks for taking the trouble to come over to WordPress to reply!)

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      3. no problems … I used to blog on WP until recently … and well, it’s interesting, the challenges and the new discoveries … and I suppose, ultimately, as long as we’re enjoying the process and happy to create, then really, perhaps this is all that matters!

        hope you catch a break from the heat and have a wonderful weekend 🙂

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