Snow covered treetops
a cherry blossom dreamland
until the branch falls
©️2018 Ontheland
~
My haiku is a ‘revision’ of this haiku written by 18th century Japanese poet, Yosa Buson:
a branch snaps under snow
waking me from a dream of the cherries
flowering on Yoshino
© Yosa Buson 1716-1784
Carpe Diem Weekend Meditation #28 Revise that Haiku
Photo of snow trees is from Pixabay.com
I love the photo: great light on the icy branch. Lovely.
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Thanks Roger. I like it too 🙂 I selected it from Pixabay.com to go with the haiku…not exactly the picture in my mind but close enough.
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The ice storms are so difficult to photograph. The light changes somehow and they are never on the camera hat hey are to the eye. I meant to say I liked the haiku too: great way to go, the two haikus running parallel.
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We (where I live) got lots of sleet and rain during the ice storm but little ice buildup on the branches. There were many stories from across Ontario though and some tragic ones, about falling branches and other heavy items.
I like the task of ‘revising’ a classic haiku as it is a way of looking closely at the original poem as well as writing.
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Reviewing and revising: a great way to compose. I often use older texts, working and reworking them to bring them up to date. We get lovely ice-storms down here … but they can be pretty dangerous when they get out of hand, as they have done over the last few winters. Killer storms, some of them and we now fear them greatly when they are announced.
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Yes ice storms are quite dangerous… just stepping out the front door is a challenge when all surfaces are coated with ice.
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Reblogged this on Frank J. Tassone and commented:
#Haiku Happenings #6: Janice’s latest haiku for Carpe Diem!
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Thank you for the post 🙂
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😇
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What a nice revision Janice. This haiku is stronger than the given one.Chapeau!
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Thank you …. though I’m not sure it’s stronger ;))
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Such a Superb scene. 😎🥀😎🥀😎🥀😎🥀😎🥀
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Thank you 🙂
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Good one, Janice! Cherries and snow seem like such unlikely companions!
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Thanks Jane. It does create a contrast, like a dessert ;)…..I think maybe Buson saw feathery snow in the tree branches
as looking like white cherry blossoms.
He was great at catching unexpected connections.
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It’s certainly an image that makes me sit up and take notice. I’m going to try this prompt. I like this idea of adapting and merging other’s work.
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Great! 🙂
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🙂
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