hamaguri no futami ni wakare yuku aki zo
a clam
torn from its shell
departing autumn©Matsuo Basho, translated by Jane Reichhold
….this is the last verse in Basho’s ‘Oku no Hosomichi’ ‘The Narrow Road to the Far North’. Because there are several word plays at work here, the Japanese maintain that there is no way for the poem to be rendered into another language.
~ Chèvrefeuille in Heeding Haiku with Chèvrefeuille, February 21, 2018, Revise it
The challenge here was to “revise” Basho’s haiku even though in its original Japanese there are many wordplays. After reading Chevrefeuille’s post (link above) and much head scratching, I came up with this simple version:
Beach chestnuts
leaving Futami
at my journey’s end
©2018 Ontheland
Futami, a word used in the Japanese version, is the name of the port where the Wedded Rocks, shown in the photo, are located. Beach chestnuts is an alternative meaning of the words in the first line and possibly could be an image representing the Wedded Rocks.
A rendition worthy of the master, Janice!
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Thank you!
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My pleasure! 🙂
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Reblogged this on Frank J. Tassone and commented:
#Haiku Happenings #14: Janice’s latest rendition of a Basho haiku for Carpe Diem!
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Thank you Frank…Chèvrefeuille’s post on WordPress at Heeding Haiku is sourced from the writings of the translator, Jane Reichhold. It’s very informative.
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Jane Reichhold was one of the great ones. The Haiku community still misses her!
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Yes, I have only recently entered into the haiku ‘realm’ and feel so fortunate to have encountered her work: her talent as a poet and translator and her generosity as a teacher.
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Welcome, Janice! 🙂
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Groovy interpretation.. 😎🥀😎🥀😎🥀
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