Star gazing

Tents with the Milky Way|Credit NPS/Emily Ogden|License: CC 2.0 Generic.

The sky unfurls its gems at night,

oceans of swirls and specks of light,

Our centers shift, recalibrate

as clouds of stardust undulate,

Our humbled heads fall back in awe,

the sky unfurls its gems at night,

They softly hint a spiral path,

a billion stars eons away,

Oceans of swirls and specks of light,

with bodies moored by gravity,

our minds soar high to starry seas,

our centers shift, recalibrate.


This week,  Jane Dougherty’s Challenge is an invitation to focus on meter–something I’ve been wanting to know more about.  Here are her words:

This week’s challenge is more about the sound of the poem than the content. Sometimes it seems to me that we work hard to get our thoughts either into rhymes or simply into the right line lengths, and don’t listen to the sound it makes. This week, I thought we could concentrate on listening to the beats in the line rather than simply count syllables or find an appropriate rhyme.

Tetrameter (four beats to the line) and pentameter (five beats) give a rhythm that helps to make a line memorable. Try to think more of the way the stress falls than the number of syllables. It will inevitably mean shuffling word order or occasionally choosing a synonym, but you will end up with a poem that flows like a song.

To see her poem with the strong beats highlighted in bold type, please visit the challenge link above.

My poem is an attempt to maintain Tetrameter using a form called ‘Cascade’.

21 thoughts on “Star gazing

  1. Love this. Made me think of this:
    “I have always loved the desert. One sits down on a desert sand dune, sees nothing, hears nothing. Yet through the silence something throbs, and gleams …” ~ Antoine de Saint-Exuperay, The Little Prince

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you Tina 🙂 I relate to that photo as my biggest night sky views in the past were while camping. Now I can sit in a chair outside my front door and look up.


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