Painting by Marie Spartali Stillman [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons
In dusk’s fleeting shadows she makes her ascent,
Mounting cold hard stone to the forbidden place,
Night birds cry warning of no descent,
She grips her offering, maintains her pace.
.
Mounting cold hard stone to the forbidden place,
Where indigo guardians preen and court,
She grips her offering, maintains her pace,
On a grave mission, her heart’s last resort.
.
Where indigo guardians preen and court,
In feather finery of emerald-gold-blue,
On a grave mission, her heart’s last resort,
They say peacocks spell evil–she hopes it’s not true.
.
In feather finery of emerald-gold-blue,
Flashing beauty from one thousand eyes,
They say peacocks spell evil–she hopes it’s not true,
Their goodness is veiled by hideous cries.
.
Flashing beauty from one thousand eyes,
Peafowl bow, fanning kindness and starlight,
Their goodness is veiled by hideous cries,
Her heart pain unravels in soft twilight.
.
Peafowl bow, fanning kindness and starlight,
Night birds cry warnings of no descent,
Her heart pain unravels in soft twilight,
In dusk’s fleeting shadows she makes her descent.
∼
This poem, my second pantoum attempt, is in response to Jane Dougherty Poetry Challenge #30: Peacock Garden. Jane supplied the art and five prompt words: Indigo, Cry, Night bird, Fleeting, and Forbidden.
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Ontheland 
Lovely pantoum, Janice, and very unsettling.
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Thanks Jane. Your perception that it was dusk really helped. At first I didn’t fully see it but the more I looked I realized it had to be.
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It looks like that time of the day when it’s hard to be certain of anything. In French it’s called ‘entre chien et loup’ meaning when you can’t tell a dog from a wolf. I like that idea a lot.
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Great expression. The diminishing light and lack of visual clarity is subtle in life and in the painting.
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Exactly 🙂
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Riveting story telling Janice. I love it!😊
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Thanks Kat 🙂
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Complicated style which you achieved perfectly. I loved the way you lured me along to the end but I’m sort of hanging about what she did there. Glad she got relief.
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Thanks Oneta. Yes I was a bit sparse in detail at the end… her recovery had to do with her encounter with large peaceful kind birds (their true nature being contrary to myth) 🙂
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Lovely poem–great job with the pantoum!
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Thanks Merril. Recent pantoums by you and others inspired me to give it another try.
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🙂
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Wow! Janice this is so besutiful. I could hear this being delivered orally at a poetry slam. Very dramatic! This would go over so well! A pantoum… I must give this a try. Thank you:)
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Thank you 🙂 Pantoums are ‘catching’.
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Beautiful poem Janice, really love your evocative poetry. 🙂
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Wow, this is beautiful! I love the soft suspense.
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Thank you 🙂
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